So Long, Suckers!
Whew. Sorry—I had to take a breath. It's just unbelievable, isn't it? Fate works in mysterious ways. Anyway, this was in my e-mail. (Actually, it was in my "suspect" e-mail... good thing I checked!)
WINNING NOTIFICATION
We are delighted to inform you of the result of the E-mail address computer ballot lottery draw of the dutch National lotto bv international program,which took place on June 2009.This is a computer generated lottery of Internet users using email addresses for draws.
This lotto draw is fully based on an electronic selection of winners using their e-mail addresses from different World wide web(www)sites.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:275-189-657-23-05 with Serial number 8756- 05 drew the lucky numbers and bonus ball number which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category.You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of $500,000 (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS) in cash credit file ref:ILP/HW 47509/02.
This is from the total cash prize of 5,000,000 Million Dollars,shared amongst the first Ten (10)lucky winners in this category.All participant were selected randomly through a computer balloting system drawn from Nine hundred thousand-mail addresses from Canada, Australia, Belgium,Nederland, Arab, United States, Asia, Europe,Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually.
This Lottery is being promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of Multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our European representative office in United Kingdom,as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of $500,000 will be released to you from our regional branch office in United Kingdom.We hope with part of your prize, you will participate in our end of year high stakes for US$1.3 Billion international draw.Our agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.
PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU QUOTE YOUR BELOW WINNING PARTICULARS WHEN CONTACTING YOUR AGENT:
Ref: 4758961725Batch:
ALLINC 70564943902/188Winning no:
FGNGB2701/LPRC
HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE: Simply contact your claims agent, Rev. Deman at email
deman.claims@hotmail.com) Fill this form below and send it to him to file for your claim .
Tel:+447024052990
LOTTERY WINNERS APPLICATION FORM OF PAYMENT.
FULL NAME.................................................
DATE OF BIRTH..................................
SEX..................................
AGE..................................
MARITAL STATUS...................................
NATIONALITY.........................................
OCCUPATION...........................................
TELEPHONE..........................................
FAX......................................................
EMAIL................
DATE......................................................
WINNER REF/BATCH NO........................
APPROVED FOR PAYMENT.
Please quote your reference,batch and winning number which can
be found on the top left corner of this notification as well as your
full name, address and telephone number to help locate your file
easily.For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this
information confidential(VERY SECRET) from the public until your claim
is processed and your prize money remitted/released to you.This is part
of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted
abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements,equally to guard
against non participant or unofficial personnel taking undue advantage
of this program. Note that, all winnings MUST be claimed by a
STIPULATED TIME(ON OR BEFORE 25th June 2009); otherwise all funds will
be returned as Unclaimed and eventually be reabsorbed into our next
lucky dip sweepstakes.You must adhere to this instruction strictly, to
avoid any delay with the release of your funds to your person as this
program has been abused in past,hence we are doing our best to
forestall further occurrence of false claims.
Note:You must claim your prize:not later than 10-days from the moment you receive this e-mail.
In order to avoid unnecessary delays with your claim from the bank;
If you receive this mail as junk or spam,please do not disregard it was due to network failure
Congratulations once again on your winnings!!!
Yours in service,
Sincerely,
Mr.Williams Stanford
Online coordinator
for Dutch NATIONAL LOTTERY
Wait—did they say to keep the numbers SECRET? Oh, crap!


"Wait—did they say to keep the numbers SECRET? Oh, crap!" Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh? LOL! Funny how a Dutch National Lottery would give one a UK number to phone regarding the winnings. I think this is my favorite part: "For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential(VERY SECRET)" VERY SECRET! That must be the aside to VERY STUPID people who don't understand the word "confidential"
Reply to this
Congrats Jeff. Between what you've won from the Dutch and the skillions of dollars I've won from England and a bunch of dead Nigerians who had nothing better to do than leave me their fortunes, we could go out and buy ourselves our own personal little internet. Maybe we could buy out Bill Gates with our petty cash.
My personal favorite is the one that supposedly comes from the head of the FBI claiming it is 100% legit.
They want you to keep it a secret because they don't want the general public to know there's some very stupid teenagers in Vowel-challengedistan who think we're going to fall for this.
Reply to this
You bastard! You've stolen my dreams.
Reply to this
Hey, everyone needs a hobby. Now you know why I don't have my own famous personal blog.
Reply to this
Hey, that was interesting,
Keep up the good work,
Thanks for writing about it
Reply to this
No, no... thank YOU, random Web-trawling software providing generic comments to blog postings!
Reply to this